cuz you're gunna need them

Friday, December 10, 2010


So many countless nights since I have been unemployed (since August) have occurred. I would stay up late starring at the clock turn over to every minute and listen to the sirens that blare by (since we live by a fire station). I would dread each day as I would not rise until 10am most days and then I would have to convince myself to shower for the day.I made to do lists for around the house. I made many meals for supper. I made desserts just for the hell of it (not a wise idea since desserts are my weakness). But today that all changed! I was offered a job at the special education cooperative for the Maize/Goddard school district. Also, may be teaching an online infant/toddler development class for Allen Community College if there is enough students enrolled! YAY! I am so nervous as I only have infant/toddler experience out of school, but they know that. I just hope I can do what I was put on this earth to do. And that is to teach little people of all abilities to grow and learn in a supportive educational environment. For those who remain unemployed and highly qualified for jobs...keep looking it's hard, it's depressing, it's stressful, it's horrible, it's frustrating, but there HAS to be an end to all of that at some point and I am so grateful and thankful that it is over for me. Thank you, thank you God! :)

Wednesday, December 1, 2010

these days...

So it is Wednesday and I stopped for a moment today (during my abundance of free time) to reflect. I have taken this reflection from the biggest loser because it again is something I can relate to in my life. In the episode that just aired last night Ada (my favorite player of this season) has a talk with Jillian about how she isn't sure she knows when something is good enough. She has always been looking for justification from others and reassurance that she's doing well from others when all along the only approval she really should be seeking is her own. So, with that I will compare my life to that concept. I currently don't completely approve of my life. Sure there are things in it that I do approve of like the people that are in my life (great family and friends). But, I am not satisfied with my day. Lately, I have had nothing to do. I haven't been working outside of the home since August. Sure I make daily to do lists of things around the house that need done, but once those are done it gets really boring really quick. And how many times can a girl vacuum and do dishes in a day? or a week? Seriously! So, I am seeking for approval from myself. Now, in fitness on the other hand I approve myself! I am (so far) motivated, excited, and happy to work out. My boot camp trainer said just the other night, "You're so eager to go before the whistle aren't you?" And my response was, "Duh, I am paying you to kick my butt so let's go!" :) He just laughed! So if I can gain my own approval soon with a job...that would be great. So, here's hoping!